You Might be a Senior if ...

To the Editor: You might be a senior if..

• You reach down to pick something up and miss, and then miss again, and then give up all together and leave it on the floor.

• You watch your pet fur tumbleweeds go by but sometimes it’s just not enough incentive to get up to Swiffer or vacuum. It’s like sooo much effort.

• You wonder about things that you never wondered about before. For instance, if your grocery store has a health food section, what does that say about the rest of the store?

• You see someone on TV who looks ancient and then find out they’re younger than you are.

• 1970 was 30 years ago. Wasn’t it?

• We grew up in a time that when we were kids, we all died on the school playground at least once but our teacher made us get up and walk it off.

• It takes an act of Congress to get into the tub or shower.

• We have to put one hand on the wall to steady ourselves just to put our feet into a pair of slides. Falling down is never an option.

• We do the absolute minimum with clothing or makeup to go out in public but at least brush our hair. We had to play dress up every single day for soul crushing corporate America for 40+ years so we will not apologize for not looking polished all the time anymore.

• Our furry roommates have become our best friends and closest confidants. Trust is hard to come by, but we always trust them.

• Going to the grocery store counts as “going out”.

• By late afternoon you are anxious for the sun to go down so you won’t feel so guilty for staying in your pajamas all day.

• Coffee in the evening counts as happy hour. Whatever makes you happy!

• You can’t deal with calls or texts that come after 7 p.m. but then wake up at 4 a.m. ready to call and text everyone!

• And finally, if you’re receiving an abundance of cremation and funeral insurance offers instead of an abundance of credit card offers, then you just might be a senior.