Practice Forgiveness
Maya Angelou, the famous African-American poet and author of many books, often spoke about forgiveness, and the most powerful of her injunctions was this: “Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself: It’s not for the other person.” What a powerful statement that is, and almost impossible for us to live out in these days of such deep divisions in our society, when too many of us walk around wary and even borderline angry, whether over the divisions in politics, ethnic loyalties, wealth and income levels, educational opportunity, or beliefs about morality and religion.
Families are torn apart by political disagreements; cities are divided into ethnic neighborhoods, sometimes even into gated and highly-secured “exclusive” housing developments, where one must have permission to enter; social classes argue over access to college funding opportunities; already-wealthy people cut deals that further enrich themselves while driving lowerincome people from their own homes as rents and/or property taxes rise.
Even here in Fayette County, we worry over whether what used to be cropland or pasture should be subdivided for new homes to be built; we watch neighboring property being “high-fenced” and worry it’s perhaps to hide criminal activity as much as to develop or improve wildlife. We fear families that have lived on their land for four or five generations will be forced away, as agricultural value fades but property taxes rise. Later generations won’t be able to afford the taxes on large tracts. The temptation to sell rural land to a solar generating company or to a rich property developer may be too much for anyone to withstand, once it seems “everyone else is doing it.” And it hurts when our neighbors seem to be “selling out”!
All of these “big issues” can overwhelm us at times, making us feel like our world is “shrinking in” on us, or that we are just pawns in some scheme or other, puppets under the control of some evil force. Are these public matters at all to be understood as events or decisions or consequences of countless private decisions that also require our forgiveness, or our action otherwise to counter them? Perhaps. . .
If we try to understand first that the will to be in control is something neither we nor anyone else can never satisfy, we can perhaps learn to turn loose of our fear of the future (or the present). Have you ever known someone who seems totally unflappable in the face of craziness, of danger, of great loss? I am surely not that person, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be more like them. Christ Jesus, as related to us by the Gospels, seemed to be one of those “unflappable” people (perhaps with the exception of his demonstrated anger at the temple money-changers). Seemingly never surprised, seldom condemning people who came to him in need, forgiving towards all but the Pharisees and their ilk, he appeared to serenely go through the world of his time with little worry or fear.
We can do that too, but it takes intentional focus on the things we CAN do with our own lives to help make our immediate world a better place, both for our own families and friends, as well as our neighbors, both known and unknown. Such a little thing as letting a young mother with a small child (or an older person who appears about worn out from shopping) go first in the check-out line can give us a sense of freedom ourselves. It’s a forgiveness of sorts, too, a “giving for” someone else. Stopping to introduce yourself to someone in your neighborhood whomyouhavelivednear for several years already and never talked to; giving up your change at the drive-through to be credited to the person in line behind you; taking time to write a condolence card to the surviving family members of a high school classmate, even though you haven’t seen that person in three or four decades; offering a smile to someone who has “acted up” or “smarted off” to us in normal conversation. Doing these things can help us feel like we are trying to make a difference, that we are “forgiving” toward others, that we can be at peace in our hearts.
These are all “giving-for” acts that make us feel more focused on what we CAN do, CAN change, CAN influence, than on the things we cannot. They are, in their own way, the very FORGIVENESS that is for us, more than for the others, just as Maya Angelou said.
Practice such forgiveness, dear friends, both in little things and in big things, and do all you can to care for others around you and for God’s creation. It’s what God does for us every day, and so shall your life be both blessed and a blessing to others.