A Long and Good Life
Of all the things I get to do as a pastor, funerals are among my favorites. This may sound odd as funerals often bring with them suffering and sadness, but there’s a sacred trust granted as a pastor walks alongside a grieving family. There’s an urgency to funerals that puts all of life on hold. And all of this is wrapped within God’s promise of resurrected life in Christ.
My spouse, Matt, and I have 9-year-old twin daughters, Emma and Lily. When they learn that someone has died - most often because Mom will miss softball or be late for dinner - they ask the same question, “Did they live a long and good life?” Sometimes I get to say yes. Sometimes I avoid the question. And sometimes I take a deep breath and say some version of, “Their life was short, occasionally good, and mostly beautiful.”
Emma and Lily learned to ask this question when their great-grandmother, Matt’s Nana, died at the age of 95. At the time, they were just 4 years old, and all their taller, trusted adults kept saying, “She lived a long and good life.” I knew that they were listening – they always are – but I did not realize that this statement would become a proof test for an acceptable death. Yet here we are, five years later, and Emma and Lily continue to seek some good news in the face of death. I think we all do.
The Christian understanding of death and dying is laced with hope. In the beginning, God created humans in divine image ( Imago Dei.) In baptism, we are brought into the family of God, sealed by the Holy Spirit and marked with the cross of Christ forever. In the baptismal waters, we die to sin and rise to new life in Christ.
The Christian’s life on earth is holy and sacred, as we are the image bearers of God in this world. The Christian’s death is also holy and sacred, as we live into our baptismal promise, to be united with Christ in resurrection.
Baptism is central to the Christian understanding of death. The Apostle Paul writes, “We were buried with him by baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we also might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.” (Romans 6:4-5.)
A Christian funeral aims to comfort the grieving, proclaim Christ and commend the faithful departed to God’s tender care. The family and friends that gather form a community of hope. This community holds in tension the deep grief of losing a loved-one and the triumphant celebration of God’s promise fulfilled. I am convinced that funerals are one of the most sincere expressions of Christ’s church in the world.