Families

That Little Voice

Families are confusing and mysterious, each member housing different memories, hidden secrets, unexplored desires, and shared experiences with conflicting reactions.

I’m assuming this is typical of all households, since my family fits that description. A group of 4 females and one male, determined to live harmoniously while clashing, agreeing, arguing, and being uniquely different.

The three children, all girls differing in ages from one year to five years, were often at odds about everything, depending on our changing ages. We fought, we laughed, we sided with and against each other, as we learned what we liked, didn’t like, wanted, didn’t want, and expected and didn’t expect as individuals.

My mother often reminded me, “Just because you are sisters, doesn’t mean you have to be best friends.” As I became older, I realized how true that was. As a youngster I thought of the family as a cohesive entity, holding together, being connected and a safe place.

But I began to understand some people we like, some we don’t, some we understand, some we will never understand, even though we live in the same house and share parents.

It was a relief when I left the family home, and had an opportunity to admire but distant myself from those close relatives I was uncomfortable with. I could pick and choose who to spend time with and who to avoid. During the course of my life my relationship with each of my family members has changed. Some of us grew closer, while the bonds with others lost their elasticity, making a reunion undesirable.

My youthful memories remain clear and cherished, locked in retrospect of a time when I didn’t have a choice of family.

Today, I have a broader family, one I have chosen. It consists of my one living biological sister, a half sister, and ten other women who support me, tolerate me, care for me, and accept me. I am fortunate to have found these additional siblings to share my ‘now time.’ We may not all be best friends, but we are family.