What Does Being Strong Really Mean?

We talk about strength, admire it when we see it, hope we have it when needed, and lament our disappointment when it is missing.

But what does being strong mean, and how do I measure it?

Is it the ability to lift weighted barbells? Is it the times when I accomplish something I didn’t think I could? Is it risking and challenging when others walk away?

I was asked recently to share a time when I was stronger than I thought I could be and I recalled Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

It was an ordinary day when I swallowed my pride, chewed my fingernails, took deep breaths, and opened the doors to a nondescript office where a group of people I didn’t know sat in a circle and all turned to look at me.

I was scared out of my mind. Fear paralyzed my body, and I was not certain I was brave enough, strong enough, fearless enough to expose myself (to a new reality).

I had entered a meeting of other people who had crossed this threshold not certain if they had the strength to enter and stay. I was in a 12-step program, not to change someone else, but to look at myself and decide who I really was.

This was the first time I realized the power of fear and how that emotion had controlled my life. And I wondered if I had the strength to take a seat, begin to listen, and honestly scrutinize the Margo I thought I knew.

That act changed my life. It may have been the honesty I heard from others in the room. Perhaps it was the commonality I shared with them. Or, maybe it was the right time for me to be stronger than I thought I could be, or wanted to be.

I certainly didn’t want to be here. I didn’t crave this selfexposure. I didn’t want to believe I needed this, but I swallowed all that ego-saving fear and became stronger than I thought was possible.

And I learned facing fear, staring it directly in the eye, not looking away, was the strongest thing I ever did. That was the first time, at age 41, I was stronger than I thought I could be.