Why I Am Not On Social Media

I am not on Facebook. I am not on Twitter. I am not on Instagram. I am not on TikTok. I am not on Snapchat. I am only on personal e-mail and am very satisfied with that, thank you very much. Since I have tried countless times to explain this to family members, people in church, old friends from high school, former students and even a business or two, I have decided to explain my position to readers who also ask the same question several times each year.

I have tried to find new answers to those who persist, “You don’t know what you are missing. You will find it so helpful in keeping up with your (fill in the blank) group. It is much easier than making phone calls or writing e-mails.” I usually begin by saying the area around my computer is my office and I have four different deadlines during a seven day week with one of my papers needing copy by 8 a.m. on Mondays. So there is not a lot of extra time available for me to check what ‘friends’ are saying throughout the day. And, from what I have heard, I do not have time to learn everyone’s political leanings, read jokes, “Thoughts for the Day” or view pictures of someone’s dinner plate.

Each column I write begins with a vague idea—today’s subject popped into my head this morning while I was watering my flowers. I never do outlines. I just begin with an opening sentence and go from there. The last decision comes after I finish the last paragraph—titling the column. I have attempted a few ‘cutesy’ titles over the years but usually end up doing what I did in this piece…I simply tell you what I’ll be talking about on any given day. And, borrowing Bill Murray’s famous line from “Stripes”—“That’s a fact, Jack!”

Okay. I admit I did try Facebook once in 2010. The most insistent critics are my former high school students. Though many are now almost my age, they have grown up with computers. They understand gigs, pdfs, and how to add those cute little faces and symbols in their writing. It is easy for them. Eleven years ago, Gary Shields (class of 1974) offered to help set me up on FB. Understand he was trying to do this over a speaker phone from his office in downtown San Diego. Once I heard him utter a bad word under his breath (he thought) I immediately reprimanded, “Listen up, Shields! I’m dumb when it comes to technical matters. I use the other side of my brain and if this transition is going to make you curse, then stop the instruction right now.” He came back with “Yes ma’am; I didn’t think you heard me.” Yet, after two days of working off and on he accomplished his task and I was officially on Facebook …with a picture, no less…which my niece later changed to one she liked better. I “posted” and was “posted to” for almost a month. I was asked to “friend” people I‘d not heard from since Ike Eisenhower was in the White House and additional ‘friends of friends’ whose identity were totally clueless to me.

I soon learned in order to “keep up” I must check my computer often and was supposed to respond to all “likes.” Several new “friends” reminded me of this. It turned out to be an exercise in futility as I tried to juggle Facebook along with care-giving and column writing and, oh yeah –housework and cooking. Why should I post a picture of a Burger King Whopper in its wrapper placed on my dinner plate? Less than a month later, I thanked Gary for his effort and ‘left the building’ without posting a single “Good-bye.”

Now my sister-in-law who checks her site each morning before starting coffee cannot understand my feelings. “If nothing else, you could encourage others in some way; you are funny – you could make them laugh.”

But, looking back on the experience from almost eleven years later, I do not think I made the wrong choice…for me.

I have become more and more convinced over these past eleven years we have way too many bad “users” out there who employ media apps to spread their own gospel, however twisted it might be, and innocent people can be just gullible enough to adhere to it—After all, isn’t the poster a “friend?”

I am sorry I may have offended many of you. What started out as a simple explanation has turned into an opinion piece. As I said up front, I never know how these paragraphs will end. Sorry. I want to remain your “friend.” I hope I will not receive a lot of “hate” mail—I will return to my usual writing style next month. PLEASE send me a picture of what you had for dinner last night! I can receive it through my e-mail and I promise to comment.

Brenda Miles is an award-winning columnist and author formerly from La Grange now living in Hot Springs Village, AR.

She responds to e-mail sent to brenstar@att.net