My Adventures at the National Polka Fest

The Ennis Czech Boys play a song called “Long Road to Praha.” Boy, they’re not lying. My wife and I traveled to Ennis this weekend for the National Polka Festival. It was well worth the long drive.

I started working part-time for the Texas Polka News last year, and I decided that I had to experience this Woodstock of polka music. I didn’t see any brown acid or magic mushrooms, but there was plenty of pivo and klobase.

The event takes place throughout several blocks in downtown Ennis and at three of the town’s fabulous dancehalls: the KJT Auditorium, the SPJST Hall and Sokol Hall. We listened to some of the best polka bands in the nation: The Texas Dutchmen, Czech and Then Some, Texas Sound Check, Fritz Hodde and the Fabulous Six, Mollie B and Squeezebox, Dujka Brothers, Jodie Mikula Orchestra, The Czech Harvesters and the aforementioned Ennis Czech Boys, just to name a few.

I’ve never seen so many people in one place wearing colorful Kroj - the traditional Czech costume. Even the Mayor of Ennis, Angeline Juenemann, wore the outfit. Janessa and I felt out of place on the dance floor in our civilian clothes and mediocre dance moves, so we mostly left the dancing to the professionals. We didn’t dare enter the King and Queen dance contest on Friday night. A young brother and sister from Lampasas, Samuel and Olivia Zmolik won the prestigious crowns.

We also watched a man eat two kolaches in 22 seconds to win the kolache eating contest Saturday. Jonathan Newton, the winner, who also won the last contest in 2019, declared before the contest that no one else had a chance. He was right. Most of the other contestants hadn’t even taken a bite of their second kolach when Newton raised his arms in victory.

And there was pivo, lots of it. Organizers must have shipped in an entire boat load of Czechvar and Pilsner Urquell from the Czech Republic for the weekend. I think I put a pretty big dent in their supply. I have visited a lot of drinking establishments in my day, but I have never before seen “slivo” offered at a bar. They had it at the SPJST Hall, though. This Czech liquor made from plums isn’t for everyone, but I enjoy it for the anatomy lesson. You can learn a whole lot about your insides as it makes its way down.

Each venue offered good food, too. The roasted pork and smoked sausage plate from Sokol Hall was exceptional. The KJT’s bratwurst-style sausage and sauerkraut was also out of this world.

More than a hundred floats strolled through the streets of downtown Ennis for the parade Saturday morning. Thousands of people watched as bands on trailers passed by, along with tractors, horseback riders, the impressive Ennis High School Marching Band, and even someone dressed up like a dancing kolache.

It was Memorial Day weekend, so there were lots of American flags flying. But there were just as many Czech flags. At the SPJST Hall, during the opening ceremonies, two young ladies led the crowd in reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and singing the National Anthem. Next, they sang the Czech National Anthem, and it seemed that everyone in the hall except us knew all the words. At the Sokol, the signs to the restroom and dining hall were written in Czech.

Everyone we met had a familiar last name – Trojacek, Slovak, Marek – sometimes spelled slightly different from the ones I know in Fayette County. Yet these Czechs grew up hundreds of miles away from here. At one point, we ran into a man who looked exactly like a dear old friend of ours from Schulenburg, Alfred Gabler, who passed away a few years ago. I thought I died and went to heaven – there was delicious sausage, good music and my old friend Alfie!

But then I came to my senses and remembered the words to a song, “In heaven there is no beer ...” It was close to heaven, though.

I hope to go back next year.