That Little Voice

I recently read a quote from a woman well into her 90s stating “Now, when I talk, I believe what I say.”

Isn’t that a refreshing statement? And must I wait another 10 years before I can honestly say “I believe what I say?”

I had never thought much about authenticity in my actions, my speech, or my writings. In fact, I have secretly prided myself in being honest about self- expression.

But, wait, that is really not the case. In fact, I have often curbed saying what I wanted to say, fearing what others would think of me, or if I would offend someone.

Perhaps as I age, I will think about what I say more carefully before blurting out something that sounds good but isn’t really how I feel.

The challenge will be for me to stop and think first, and I’m not sure I’ll have the patience to stop or to think.

Saying the politically correct ‘right’ thing is a habit, one I have practiced and perfected. Breaking that routine may be an uphill climb for me. When someone asks, “How do I look,” automatically I say “Great,” when in reality I’m thinking “It might help if you would comb your hair since it appears you just rolled out of the sack.”

Or, when asked “Does my house smell bad?” I might have responded, “Oh no, gagging when entering someone’s house is not unusual for me.” A more honest answer would be, “Do you have a bucket? I’m about to throw up from the odor in here.”

Actually neither one is truthful because I can’t smell anything, so the aroma in the room may be awful, but I will be unaffected.

I am hoping as I age, my friends are getting smarter and know not to ask for my opinion. That way I won’t have to lie, and they won’t be offended with my honesty.

Maybe we should teach children how to be truthful politely, or at least respond in one or two words. “Yes” or “No” are simple answers, and no explanations or sarcastic sidebars are necessary.

“How do I look?” “Bad” will do for an answer. “Does my house smell bad?” “Yes” will suffice. Maybe neither response will be as much fun, but the conversations will be shorter.