Instant Pot Woes

The saga detailing my cooking ineptness continues as I experiment with Instant Pot recipes that apparently don’t work for me but do for millions of other would be chefs.

I cooked my second batch of pinto beans, with just a few embarrassing incidents. If you have this new style pressure cooker, you know there is a pot that goes into the pot. This inner pot is what ingredients go into, including water, spices, and your preferred beans (or whatever you may be cooking, i.e. chicken, cakes, soups).

My first step was to put in the suggested amount of water, followed by the beans, then the garlic, onions, etc. I realized quickly the water had disappeared, and I began my search.

It was not a long investigation, because my kitchen was beginning to float and my shoes filled up with escaping water pouring out of the bottom of the IP. I was bumfuzzled, why was this not working and why were items on my counter skidding around as though on an ice rink?

I looked carefully, for the first time, and made a discovery. I had failed to put the inner pot into the outer pot, thus creating a giant mess.

My first instinct was to hurry and clean it up so no one would notice. I needn’t worry since no one has been to my house for a span of two birthdays. The pandemic has played havoc with my “hostess with the mostess” title.

Then I got tickled and began laughing at my hopeless attention to details. This would make for a wonderful column on what not to do if you failed home economics in the 9th grade.

As I mopped, swept, and dumped out beans I entertained myself with music about food, including “Hand Me Down That Can of Beans” by the cast of Paint Your Wagon,

“Banana Pancakes” by Jack Johnson, “Tutti Frutti “by Little Richard, “Blueberry Hill” by Fats Domino, Vince Gill’s version of “Bread And Water,” and dozens more.

There are hundreds of songs about food, so now I have a library of what to listen to as I continue discarding tried but failed meals. At least I can still make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich.