What is Forgiveness?

What is forgiveness? Obviously, it is important to Jesus since Jesus threatens to torture anyone who doesn’t forgive his brother or sister (Matthew 18:34-35). Forgiveness is an intentional, deeply complicated emotional process where we find a way to move from the negative to the positive in our thinking. We do a corporate act of forgiveness every Sunday morning in our prayer of confession which (I hope) helps people move from the negative world of anger, hurt, and shame into the people we are called to be.

Forgiveness is powerful. Forgiveness has the power to transform the bitterness we feel, the resentment that has a hold on us, the anger that can just swallow us, as well as the contempt (which I feel is one of the worst emotions we can feel) that has the power to just destroy our relationships. Forgiveness has the power to transform all of that into a place where you are once again free from all of this destructiveness.

Forgiveness is not reconciliation. You don’t need to restore your relationship with that person again in order to forgive them. You don’t have to trust that person again in order to forgive them. It doesn’t work that way. Forgiveness is your choice. No one can do it but you. The person who hurt you has nothing to do with your decision to forgive them. They can’t make you forgive them. It is your choice to hang on to the anger and bitterness you feel just as it is your choice to forgive them and find your freedom once again. It is not easy by any stretch, but it is your choice.

Forgiveness is part of your character. Jesus is calling his followers to make it a major part of their character. That doesn’t mean roll over and play dead and let them hurt you again, it doesn’t mean to stay angry and resentful (which is actually the easiest road to travel), it means to take your power back, take your freedom back. In the spiritual world, a forgiving person makes for a deep, mature follower of Christ, a person who is free in this world of hurt and pain.

I like to talk about our road of following Jesus as being one where we are trying to fulfill the call of on Earth as it is in Heaven. Our spiritual character of forgiveness plays a huge role in moving down this road. You want to be free? Try forgiving those who have hurt you and caused you pain, You will find your freedom there.