The Best Gifts are Time Spent with Family

As we enter the liturgical season of Advent, a time of preparation awaiting the coming of Jesus, both at Christmas as a baby in a lowly stable and at the promised time of his Second Coming, we watch also as the commercial world runs seemingly amok. Although the internet and Amazon have taken some of the frenzy from the hordes of people lined up at the big stores on Black Friday morning, we still face long lines at checkout and out-ofstock notices, both in-store and on-line, as we shop for the most-desired of gifts for our young children or grandchildren, nieces or nephews.

How did we get here? A hundred years ago, a typical Christmas celebration for most families in Fayette County meant a cedar tree cut on the farm, decorated with homemade ornaments of paper and tinsel; simple gifts of small paper bags for the children, filled with nuts, peppermint sticks, and maybe an orange and apple, and a small toy. If there was a doll under the tree or a baseball mitt, it was a sign of a family with more means than others typically had.

Were my parents less happy as children, with their modest gifts, than kids today? I don’t think so. What kids need is the assurance that they are loved, and the giving of material gifts usually just ramps up expectations for the future, rather than providing that needed assurance. The best way to help kids know they are loved is to spend time with them, doing something handson, teaching them a new thing, forming new shared memories.

So better than a gift of a video game or a new cell phone would probably be a fishing or hunting trip or a lesson in making a family-favorite culinary treat or a group outing to a family entertainment center of some sort. Maybe for small children, a set of books that will be read at bedtime would be a great investment, helping to create a ritual that makes bedtime something to be looked forward to rather than dreaded.

There are no good answers to how to find the time to show love to our kids when we are overworked and overstressed with making a living, keeping a business going, or caring for elders at the same time as all the above. One way I tried to at least spend a little time with my family during my overcommitted working years was to organize once a year a “big day” event for my parents, with my two brothers and their families.

Rather than giving birthday or Christmas presents to any of them, I invested those funds in the planning and carrying through of an event/outing of some sort. Maybe a visit to a Renaissance Festival as a family, or an outing to a nearby amusement park, or attending a touring Broadway show followed by a restaurant meal together. For probably a decade or more, the 12 of us would be together for a memory-making day-long experience of shared excitement, joy, food, and companionship. What a gift it was for every single one of us! And best of all, it was every single one of us giving up time just to be with all the others.

I’m not naïve in believing this would be easy to “pull off” in these days of kids being frantically involved in everything from 4-H activities to sports practices and games to dance and music lessons to church activities, much less account for the time some must put into school homework. But I can assure you it can pay off in big dividends of shared memories later for the entire group, who will have a bond that might not be easily forged otherwise with first cousins who live miles away from each other.

There are ways to do something akin to this less expensively, too. One could set aside an evening to have the entire family walk a “trail of lights” show, for example. Or take a day to visit a nearby farm that offers hayrides and a petting zoo. Tour a commercial establishment that offers sample treats at the end (Blue Bell Creameries Museum and factory, anyone?). Plan a day volunteering at a non-profit in your area or visit a state park with a special kids’ section, packing a picnic meal to enjoy after a few hours of play time and exercise (How about the new kids’ interactive exhibits/ playground at Monument Hill, for example?).

In any case, I hope your holiday season is a richly fruitful one in worship, in shared family time, and in newlyformed memories treasured for years to come. Merry Christmas, dear readers.